This Christmas

most people that know me know that i love christmas music. this one has to be in the top 3 songs.

2 Asshole Parkers in 1 Lot!!!!

the second asshole!!!

This is Talent!!!!

to all you people that think lady gaga has talent, listen to this song. this is what we like to call talent. and when i say WE, i mean the people that aren't tone deaf. true talent that doesn't need auto tune to sound halfway decent(and that's giving more credit than deserved). now go run tell that homeboy!!!

First Asshole of the Holiday Season

so i'm parking at Rouse's this evening to get the goods to cook pollo guisado and i notice this asshole parking job. i left him a little note!!

#FreestyleFriday

The mic's a buckshot and lyrics be the shotty
the beef is on and i'm about to catch a body
in a verbal sense and use your name in past tense
out of respect i'll pour some liquor in remem-brance
somebody should've warned you, best ta keep your dis-tance
could've silenced you from jump in mid sen-tence
better yet that would've been your best de-fense
but eddie murphy can't save you in this ins-tance
i give you props and I admire your resil-ience
take five, it's mine, this light I shine is brilliance
more gangsta than Goodfellas or Sicilians....
and rowdier than rioting Brazilians
Take heed the message that I will instill in
your mind, body, soul, and psychological
I'm Dick Dastardly to mics and diabolical

#FreestyleFriday

Never copied Pac, but I'm a straight rider, man
"nicer" than the "friendly" neighborhood Spider-Man
If I'm rockin', bet is gonna be a tighter jam
tighter than the broads I pull from clubs for one-night stands
and tighter than a miser's grip on currency in hand
Damn if you don't ponder, fond of double entendres
real ones back me up, they hold me down, son, I got sponsors
name is legendary, Lancelot and Loch Ness Monsters
Godfather in this piece, and chief, you can't refuse my offer
had I been born in Middle East, my name might be "Mustafa"
coppers fear my crew, you'd think my last name was Sinatra
an all-time great from rhymes I kick, I'm Pele, this is soccer

Bourbon Street?? Really???

so it always rubs me the wrong way when i hear people talk about coming to new orleans and all they really want to see is bourbon st. its even worse when locals think its the cat's ass. like that's all new orleans has to offer. newsflash people…bourbon st. is not that great. in fact, it pretty much sucks. bourbon st. can be replicated in the comfort of you own home by following these steps:

1. go get 3 homeless people. paint one gold, one silver and get the other one to heckle you for money or bet you that they "know where you got your shoes at". you will also need one drunken frat guy to scream wooooooo constantly at the top of his lungs. shit throw in a sloppy drunk girl that's passed out while you're at it.

2. go to your nearest liquor store or convenience store and buy cheap alcohol, but pay 5 times the value of the alcohol. (hint: the 2 for one drinks at the places aren't really 2 for one. hell i can go to the store and buy magnum condoms, but does that make my penis any larger? rhetorical question…it in fact does not!! larger cups and long pouring does not make a stronger drink.  those tooters that they use to give you an extra shot are 3/4 of an oz. a real shot glass is 1 1/2 oz.)

3. go on the internets and download jock jams vols. 1-3. make sure you have these 4 songs though. a.) pour some sugar on me - def leppard b.) jump around - house of pain c.) jump - kriss kross d.) insane in the brain - cypress hill. now put these these cds on repeat.

4. have said homeless people and frat guy piss and puke all over your home for authentic french quarter smell.

ok so what i wrote above might be a little harsh, but that's my opinion. new orleans has tons to offer as far as entertainment is concerned. explore this great city a bit. you will find some great places and have lots of fun.  if you want to stay in the general area of the french quarter, try going to frenchmen st. they have some great places there. the bars are great and the music is even better. if you go to frenchmen st. and you don't have a good time…..like my friend mike "rex" dingier says…."the only taste you have is in your mouth".

That's a Crazy Cat Lady!!!

ha!!!!!

Henry Rollins vs. Hipsters

FML???

enough said!!!

#FreestyleFriday

So called players that won't do a damn thing
hop up in the spot, I'm pullin' ladies like a hamstring
fantastically scholastic did my undergrad at Grambling
hold a tune in the shower even though I know I can't sing
never bit a rhyme, instead prefer you call it sampling
Greater than outdoors boy scouts explore and call it camping
I could talk forever, however, you may call it "rambling"
leaving broads breathless, honeys can't keep from panting
smooth and put you in a festive mood like 9 ladies dancing

Location:W Louisiana State Dr,Metairie,United States

The Pitbull Problem?

this is a great video. no need to say anything else.

Ho's Uniform

he sure does have a point. this is very confusing!!!

Incredible Ukrainian Pitbull

this video is just of of the many reasons i love pitbulls. often the scapegoat of irresponsible owners, here is an example of what these intelligent animals are capable of.

#FreestyleFriday

Furious Five fingers, I held Melle Mel on my cell,
Grandmaster Flashin' you, Rocked your Bells like LL,
Vicious venom swells, incarcerated by these spells.
Tearin' Jill's clothes off, crowned Jack the Ripper,
Hearts taken on Hamburgler Hill, fast as McDonalds for dinner.

Word is Bond like Sean, Never Say Never Again,
But that's hipocracy itself, no limitations in this regimen.
Old school flows, Ozone and Turbo type shows,
A Societal Poet, Dead like 'The Crow,' with blow up his nose,
Report read: 'O.D.ed on Ingenuity,' case open and closed!

The Pussification of America

 wtf is a time out chair??

these days all i see are kids being medicated and babied for shit they should be getting punished and disciplined. now i'm no dr. phil by any stretch of the imagination, but it seems that most people are ultra sensitive when it comes to discipline. i was born in the early 70's and was an 80's teen. we knew what discipline was. an ass whipping never hurt anyone(well except for the physical pain).  we need to get back to whipping ass and stop medicating these bad ass kids that will probably depend on medication for the rest of their life(prescribed or self-medicating) because they are taught from young that this is the magical cure. ok now that i'm done with my pep talk, let's go whip them bad ass kids!!!

#wheniwasakid kids didn't have ADD & ADHD. They were just called bad ass kids. The medication was called getting your ass beat with a belt!!

#wheniwasakid timeout was the amount of time you spent unconscious after getting your ass whipped by your folks!!

#wheniwasakid we stood up in the front seat of the car. we didn't need car seats!!

#wheniwasakid when you made a scene in the store, your folks made a bigger scene when they snatched you up and beat your ass in front of the whole damn store!!!

 

USA for Africa!!!

am i the only one that when i hear this song i sing along with it? not only do i sing along with it, but i try to sing in the voice of the person that's singing that part in the video. that kenny loggins had some pipes. and yes i even sing the cindy lauper part!!!

#FreestyleFriday

the supreme all-seeing but my "third eye blind"
one line;
two meanings, interpretation all in the mind
single words become meaningless; profound when combined
raise your IQ a few when Scott D rhymes
simpletons with simple minds "don't forget about me"
I could be moody feelin' the blues, but "in your wildest dreams"
still couldn't take me, I could be sedated, sullen, serene

I'd crush you even if I was under psychiatric care
with the MD, the nurse, preacher, and coroner there
I'm a stone cold killer, rap's my accomplice
I'll slap ya face so hard you'll rhyme with E Dub's lisp
"So What'chu Sayin'?" sorry dawg, I don't hear bullshit
Afrosheen in your mouth got you talkin' all slick
but I'll punch out ya lights like I was boxin' wicks!

I am the Hubig's Pie eating champion of the Universe and maybe even Earth

so today was the Survive the Pie contest that benefited Komen for the Cure. I won the contest haven eaten 8 and a few bites in 7 minutes. below are the vids. the first is the first round and the second is the final round between me and Bob. it was a 2 minute sudden death. i think i od'd on sugar. i'm not feeling my best right now!! enjoy!!

first round


final round

Rick Rollin' Genius

so this college student rick rolled his college professor in his computer science paper. this is pure genius. personally, i love this song. it's a great hit of the 80's.

Get to Know Me!!!*

ok so i stole this from someone(thanks hungry termite).

LAYER ONE:

– Name: scott

– Birth month: september

– Birthplace: nola

– Eye Color: green/hazel

– Hair Color: mousy brown?

– Height: 5'9

– Righty or Lefty: right

– Zodiac Sign: virgo

LAYER TWO:

– Your heritage: i'm a mutt. french, irish, german, spanish & native american. my ancestors pretty much shagged anyone

- The shoes you've worn [so far] today: grey tsubos

– Your weakness: food, food & women

– Your fears: open water & sharks but i would still love to scuba dive

– Your perfect pizza: anything but pineapple(i do love pineapple, just not on pizza)

– Goal you’d like to achieve on a physical level: finish p90x & run a half marathon within a year

LAYER THREE:

– Your most overused text talk: lol

– Your first waking thoughts: i need a damn shower

– Your best physical feature: my eyes & lips

– Your most missed memory: christmas at my me me & gramps house

LAYER FOUR:

– Pepsi or Coke: ahhhhh i guess coke but i would rather root beer or sweet tea

– McDonald’s or Burger King: mickey d's!! next time get a quarter pounder and the put your fries on it then smoosh it down....man it's good!!!

– Single or group dates: single but i'm usually the 3rd or some odd wheel

– Adidas or Nike: nike

– Chocolate or vanilla: chocolate when it comes to cake. vanilla when it comes to ice cream

LAYER FIVE:

– Smoke: never!!! probably one of the nastiest things a person could do

– Cuss: i have a filthy mouth

– Sing: i'm always singing. in the shower, in the car, in the store. i'm not good at it but i'm always singing

– Take a shower everyday: ummm yeah

– Do you think you’ve been in love: yeah i have

– Liked high school: yeah i did. i wish i was still there

–Want to get married: been there and would probably do it again if i met the right woman

–Believe in yourself: most of the time

– Get motion sickness: nope

– Think you’re attractive: physically i think i'm mildly attractive. personality wise, i'm very attractive

– Think you’re a health freak: no but i'm working on that. i don't want to be a freak just live healthier

– Get along with your parent(s): for the most part i get along with my mom. never really had a relationship with my father

– Like thunderstorms: they are pretty cool unless i'm standing outside holding a metal rod in the air

– Play an instrument: no. i've always wanted to learn the piano and sax

LAYER SIX:In the past month…

– Smoked: never

– Done a drug: nope

– Ran a marathon: no but i plan on running a half marathon

– Gone on a date: yep.....next!!!

– Run a crazy man / horse 50 miler?: a what?

– Eaten an entire box of Oreos?: no but i've eaten a box of oreo cakesters

– Eaten sushi: yep....kanno is the best

– Been on stage: nope

– Made homemade cookies: no but that sounds really good


LAYER SEVEN

– How do you want to die: while having sex. that way i can come and go at the same time

– Where you want to go to college: no formal college. i went to culinary school and tech school

–What do you want to be when you grow up: rich?? 

– What country would you most like to visit: thailand

LAYER EIGHT:

– Number of piercings: one in each ear but i do not wear anything in them

– Number of tattoos: 3

– Number of times my name has appeared in the newspaper: umm not sure

– Number of scars on my body: one under my chin and i have no clue how it got there

– Number of things in my past that I regret: just one person

– Number of people I could trust with my life:  a few.



Final thoughts . . . .

Anything different about you: i'm a character. some might think i'm weird and i would probably agree for the most part. who wants to be normal? that was a rhetorical question now take a lap!!!

worst.commercials.ever!!!

does anyone agree with me that the chip forstall commercials are pretty much the worst commercials ever? actually it's a close race between his commercials and the ones with ronnie lamarque singing. please take the microphone away from that man!!!



                                                   vs.





you decide!!!!

#SurvivethePie

 next friday, i will be participating in a pie eating contest to support breast cancer awareness. this is a video that was shot today at work. it's a trial run with 3 pies. all proceeds are going to susan g. komen for the cure. enjoy!!!

Funny Pics from the Internets!!!

#FreestyleFriday

man i have been neglecting this blog. it's been a pretty crazy work week to say the least. here is something i put together last night.

Ladies feel soothed and herbal, whisked away by non-verbals,
Eternity is danced with, sideways 8, that's two circles.
In my lap she sits, gentle, smooth sedations,
Lost up in my arms, fingertips guide to constellations.
Galaxies revealed as I whisper in her ear.
Space-time stops existing, moments seem like years.
This is not even Scott D, it's magic hidden inside a computer,
Mysterious crystal ball energy, words that capture futures.
Prophecies revealed, this man a vision of what suits her.

#FreestyleFriday

just having some fun on a friday:


Torn out of the frame, how can even you picture me
on plasma TVs, high-density shown visibly?
enter the realm of mind, internalized soliloquy
my thought process is fed positive imagery
I got two sides, but opposites in symmetry
you see one or the other, are you a foe or friend to me?
one side's benevolent, it exchanges pleasantries
the other side's malevolent, it's wrath upon my enemies
forever complimentary, some suicidal tendencies
shrouds of darkness encompass, claustrophobia closing in on me
perpetually engaged in battle, cocooned by dueling entities
in search of small scale omnipotence with blasphemous propensity
this is the diary of a madman likened to a dispensary
those that step into my world get befuddled by its density

Noooo Not the Hair!!!

first rule of gay hipster fight club: don't fuck up my hair!!!

Parking Prollems!!!

i usually post these pics on my facebook profile and a lot of people think they are great. i decided to re-post past pics from people that obviously do not know how to park. what i do is i put stickers on their windows letting them know exactly what i think about their parking job!!!

case 1: this idiot parked so close to my company vehicle that i almost couldn't get into my car

hey asshole...how about leaving me a can opener next time!!!!

case 2: this person thought it would be a bright idea to take up 2 parking spots in a wal-mart parking lot.

Feeling Sentimental

one of the best songs EVER produced. no matter how i'm feeling this song always seems to make me smile. this is what music is supposed to be like. all this hype about lady gaga and the like...newsflash lady gaga will never be timeless

Men are from Mars...Women are out of their minds!!!

so a few years back i happened upon a site that explained the complexities of how men and women are attracted to each other. it's a pretty long read, but well worth the time. the following chart shows how men and women rate each other upon meeting:

i wouldn't say the above chart is exact, but i'm pretty sure it is close. i would def say that on the man's rating system "estimated chance she'll put out quickly" is more than 30%. semantics!! anyway notice the 40% attraction section on the woman's chart. that is further broken down below:

upon completion of reading the whole web page, i noticed that it really made a lot of sense. it really does show how far off men and women are on the spectrum of dating and attraction (i will write another blog about this later i'm sure). now before you comment on this blog saying i'm sexist, a woman basher etc, i implore you to go read the whole page at www.laddertheory.com. this post is mainly in jest, but i'm sure someone can get something out of it. and i'm not talking bout the fact that i'm an idiot. that should already be obvious!!! happy reading people

Hey Hi Hello

i've never done this before, so bear with me as i try to figure all of this out. i've been reading various people's blog for some time now and i figured "hell scott, why don't you give it a shot." as most of my friends and family know, i'm very opinionated. i figure this will be a great avenue to vent my opinions, good and bad. topics could range from the price of tea in china to why men and women are polar opposites when it comes to dating. i will probably joke around a lot on here. this is purely for entertainment purposes. hopefully someone will like some of the stuff i post...if not, i don't give a fat frog's ass.